We know there is a purpose in all things. Right now there is a young family struggling with the possible loss of their brand new baby. Healthy in the womb but complications with his birth. We do not know the answers to what and why but we must trust the One who holds all life in His hands.

God continues to be faithful to us as a family. I wanted to update those on this past weeks events with Eric. 

Dear Friends,

Again, we love and appreciate all everyone of you are doing. I was so blessed with the fruit this week and I am getting much faster at juicing

For those of you who do not know what has been happening in our lives, we found out 6 weeks ago that my husband has stage 4 malignant melanoma. The blessing is that this is in the beginning of stage 4 since it has not  metastasised to any vital organs just lymph nodes, nerves and muscles.

A Christian Woman’s Perspective on In-Laws

 I don’t know what goes through your mind when you hear the word in-laws, but chances are if you cringe a little bit then there may be a problem. I can’t speak for anyone but myself; so, I won’t attempt to assume any scenarios or situations, but share a little from my heart, if I may. And, although Taylor and I are just going on our 5^th year in marriage, I can safely say that we have had our share of struggles dealing with this subject; but like I mentioned, I can only tell you from my experiences.

I still remember the look on Michelle’s face that Tuesday evening when we had our meeting in her office and I told her that I was in love with her eldest son, Taylor. It was a mixture of confusion and shock with a little bit of, “What did I just get myself into”. To be completely honest, I don’t think I knew what I was getting myself into.

Taylor and I both come from broken homes. His parents divorced many years ago and have both remarried since then. My parents have been separated for many years also; although my mother has never gone back into a relationship, my father has. Needless to say, it can be a little complicated juggling all the emotions and expectations that come with every individual relationship. I won’t even get into how hectic holidays can become (that is an entirely different subject concerning a whole different range of emotions).

But something that I’ve learned in my handful of years of marriage is that in all areas of life one principle can be brought and applied to solve many issues. This principle being that we are all sinners and have fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23, 5:8). This allows us to have the knowledge and understanding that no person or relationship is perfect and that we are all equal in our complete dependence upon the Lord. There is a great book called When Sinners Say “I Do” written by Dave Harvey that goes through this principle and applying this thought in marriage. But after Taylor and I went through the book and I heard all the teachings that Dave has on the matter I came to a very remarkable conclusion; what would happen to all the relationships that were not doing so good if I suddenly applied this principle? Really. What would happen? I know that it could be so life changing that it would start growing and spreading like wildfire. I know this because I did do it.

My relationship with Michelle was pretty good up until last October; then it bumped up a few notches to great! We had our hiccups like any relationship, but it never got better. We just kept it sort of on the top, surface-y if you would. Our relationship is probably the most complicated, because when I first started coming to the Covenant Life she was my Pastor’s wife and counselor. As Taylor’s and my relationship grew she started to fade into his mom and my future in-law. Later, she became my in-law and soon after grandma to my children. Like I mentioned, we had our hiccups like any other relationship, but a lot of it revolved around my pride and unspoken expectations. Needless to say, our relationship really took a turning point when we got into a little argument. I don’t remember what it was about, but I remember us talking on the phone and just not knowing what to say or how to deal with the situation. Bless my husband’s heart, because he put up with my nagging and complaining for almost 4 years! Poor guy. That day when he got home he finally broke and just looked at me square in the eyes and said, “You are in the wrong!” He then started to go through scripture (as he does so graciously whenever I need a good Bible spanking) and explained to me that my loyalty was to his family and most important, his mom.

Now, I’m sure some of you are thinking, “Loyalty? Yea, right! Like I’m going to be doing that?” Yes, trust me, I thought the same thing; but Taylor painted such a picture that my heart literally melted of its hardness and totally wrapped around the scripture and the fact that I am a pathetic loser of a sinner and Jesus died on the cross for the very stubbornness of sin that I had just committed. He took me through the story of Rebekah (Gen 24). It is a beautiful story of leaving your family and cleaving to your spouse.

Rebekah was a young woman who was chosen by God to be the mother of two great nations. Now in the story the servant had revealed that Rebekah was the one to her brother and mother’s household; so the servant and the men with him ate, drank, and spent the night. Now, the next day the servant asked her family to send them on their way with Rebekah, but her family asked to keep her for a while. The servant pressed the issue further which led to verse 57-59,

“They said, ‘Let us call the young woman and ask her.’ And they called Rebekah and said to her, ‘Will you go with this man?’ She said, ‘I will go.’ So they sent away Rebekah their sister.”

The Bible doesn’t talk about any hesitation in Rebekah’s heart for going away from her family and all that was familiar to go to some who-knows-where place to marry some guy that she didn’t even really know existed. The Bible only says that she said, “I will go.” Her response blew my mind. She didn’t second guess the hand of the Lord calling her to move, literally, in faith.

We’re really fortunate to live close to all of our family. We live just about 10-15 minutes away from each of our parents. But back in Rebekah’s day, that was not really what happened. A girl, just like Rebekah, was taken from her home and brought to another man’s home. All that he had was hers, and that included his family. It wasn’t accustoming for a man to move around or travel unless his job or vocation/trade called for it. It was usually the woman who left her home to live with him. I mean come on, some of you can’t imagine dealing with issues with your in-laws, what if you had to live with your in-laws? This is how it was and this is how it is spiritually for us today. Now, hear me out on this because I am not saying that there is this dictator like patriarchy that needs to be in place where your only means of “family” is your husband’s; but there is a state of submission that you bestow on your husband when you marry him that his family is your family. Yes, it should work both ways, but even more so with us as wives. Think about it, when you marry your husband who takes a different name? You do. You take your husband’s family name. My name is no longer Halannah Morales; my name is now Halannah Hartman. My husband’s family is now mine.

After Taylor brought this thought to me my heart was literally broken. I had been so horrible to Michelle. I had treated her as my worst enemy when in reality she was the closest person to understand my feelings and emotions. She had gone through the same thing I did and the same I was going through (she actually did it twice! Woo!). She had brought another man’s family, life, and name to be her own. She was once a young woman who was brought from her home to marry a man, just like me! And as I thought about it more I realized that our similarity in our role as wives was also a similarity that brought me to the conclusion that we are even more similar in being sinners. I called Michelle soon after Taylor and I finished talking and I don’t really think I said anything understandable because I was crying so much, but I asked her to forgive me for not having the right perspective on our relationship. She gladly forgave me and our relationship has truly skyrocketed to becoming a relationship that isn’t focused on us, but on glorifying God through our relationship.

Like I mentioned before, I don’t know what you’re going through right now with your in-law. Every relationship is different and has its own unique story, but we have to remember that we are all fallen and we are all saved by grace. We must remember that thought and principle in all areas of our life, even while dealing with our in-laws. It is not a relationship that is exempt from this!

Here are 10 thoughts and key points to help any relationship that is on rocky ground, but specified for in-law relationships:

1. Acceptance: Taking the principle that we are all sinners and knowing that we are only accepted by our faith in God helps us accept one another. This doesn’t mean that if your in-law is not a believer that you can’t accept them, but even more so that you should see them as God does (lost) and try to reach out to them more (get them saved).
2. Honor, respect: This goes all the way back to Moses’ day, but is applicable to us today. My two oldest children are 3 and 1 ½ years old, but they already have Ephesians 6:1-3 memorized. Verse 2-3 reads, “‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.’ ” This doesn’t just apply to us as we are under our parent’s home and authority, but also as we grow and get married. Honor is defined as high respect; public regard; adherence to what is right or accepted behavior; nobleness of mind, exalted position, privilege; source of respect or high regard; respect highly; confer honor on; accept; accede to; do the honors, perform the duties of a host to guests. (That last one is my favorite. Doesn’t it paint a great image in your mind?)
3. Communication: This applies to all relationships. There has to be an open line of communication. In all areas concerning all things. Seriously, if she asks if you need help with your laundry its not because she thinks your pathetic and you don’t know how to use your washer, but even so, you need to communicate that that’s how it makes you feel when she says that… So what if she thinks your food isn’t that great; write down recipes, get out of your comfort zone. Come on, make something new and good!… Ok, so she doesn’t agree with what the kids ate the other day. Big deal! Take some advice because it may not have been that great anyways… COMMUNICATE!
4. Kindness, gentleness, courtesy: Nobody wants to be treated like garbage and nobody wants to tip toe around a relationship waiting for the bomb of past offenses to explode. It takes two to tango, but it takes one to do it with a smile.
5. Time: Not only to grow the relationship, but time to share (especially with grandchildren). I will confess that I knew a way to shove it to Michelle, per say. I would just keep the kids home with me. She would ask to spend some time with them and I wouldn’t let her take them; whether to the park, lunch, or grocery shopping. In my mind this was getting back at her for whatever little insignificant thing I felt she did to me. I am very sad and truly ashamed I let myself do that, but I know now that time is precious and we all need to share it.
6. 1. Acknowledgement of each other’s roles: That she is still his mother and he will always be her baby boy. That she is his wife and is his partner in life. You each have separate roles, but are very similar in them. Remember that each as women take another man’s family, life, and name to be our own. We are all more similar than we think.
   2. Acknowledgement of each other’s roles concerning children: She is their mother and their authority. She is their grandmother and has a key role in their growth. Each role is unique and each role is needed for balance of discipline and love. Just as they say mommy means business and daddy’s all fun; the same can be applied with a grandmother, she can be used to help implement your desires of growing your children to be godly people.
7. Openness: Be open and willing to share; culture, differences, perspectives. It can only help and grow the relationship. i.e.: I am Hispanic and come from a totally different culture, but that doesn’t stop me from sharing and growing with Michelle. In fact, it only brings us closer. It’s been said that the greatest memories are made in the kitchen; well, you can say that I do have fond memories of making taquitos and guacamole with Michelle. But my favorite memory will have to be hovering over her bowl of cookie dough as she made her famous chocolate chip cookies. I still can’t get it right.
8. Spoken Expectations: Expectations can kill a relationship, especially not spoken or understood ones. Talk about what you need or want. Talk about your thoughts on food or discipline for your kids. Don’t just expect her to know what you’re thinking. Can you read minds? I highly doubt she can too.
9. Be given to service: Michelle and I really try to help one another. She’ll come get the kids and take them out so I can take a nap or she’ll take all my laundry and bring it back fresh and pressed. I’ve made them several dinners in times past and have helped clean and prepare work that needed to get done. It has to be an open two way lane of freedom to serve too. Don’t say no if she wants to scrub the floor in your bathroom. Don’t say no if she wants to cook you her grandma’s famous chicken pot pie recipe. Don’t say no…
10. Pray for one another: This is super key. Your openness about prayer for one another can really help your relationship. Pray for one another in secret. Pray for one another together. Go get some coffee and then pray together. Go for a drive and pray while driving. We all need Jesus and we can all use some prayer. So, pray! Remember, she was once as you are. You were once as she is.

Related articles

• Christian Response to a Difficult In Law (virtuouswomen.net)
• I married her son~ From Halannah (virtuouswomen.net)
• Training children to serve and to give to those in need (youarespecialblog.org)

During the past few weeks I have had an old hymn called Rock of Ages in my mind that has brought me great comfort. Allow me to share it with you in the beginning of this post:

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,

Let me hide myself in thee;

Let the water and the blood,

From thy wounded side which flowed,

Be of sin the double cure;

Save from wrath and make me pure.

Not the labors of my hands

Can fulfill thy law’s commands;

Could my zeal no respite know,

Could my tears forever flow,

All for sin could not atone;

Thou must save, and thou alone.

Nothing in my hand I bring,

Simply to the cross I cling;

Naked, come to thee for dress;

Helpless, look to thee for grace;

Foul, I to the fountain fly;

Wash me, Savior, or I die.

While I draw this fleeting breath,

When mine eyes shall close in death,

When I soar to worlds unknown,

See thee on thy judgment throne,

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,

Let me hide myself in thee.

If you’ve been discouraged lately, or have been feeling down and defeated, you’ll understand why these encouraging words brought joy to my heart. I don’t have anything extremely deep to share with you, but hopefully this short excerpt from my heart will prove to be encouraging.

Jesus Christ is all we have.  I’ll say it again: JESUS CHRIST IS ALL WE HAVE! He is our only hope. He is our life. He is our Savior. He is our faithful and true God.

Often when I am disappointed, discouraged, discontent, or just feel like I am constantly hitting a wall, I don’t do what I should do. I don’t always run to Christ and “hide myself” in Him. I often fall prey to looking elsewhere for satisfaction and comfort. But there is a theme that has been burning in my heart now, more than ever, and that is to hide myself in Christ, and to dwell with Him. Let us not forget the words of our Savior, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). Why do we not go to Him when we are weary? Sometimes in my heart of hearts, I don’t flee to Him because I think I can handle it, or that it’s too small of a problem to bring to Christ. This is only trusting in myself, rather than in God. He cares for me. He died for me. Why will I not “carry everything to God in prayer?”

Here’s a real shocker for you: life is not always easy.

I’m not where I thought I would be, at 23 years of age. Trials have come. People have hurt me. I have hurt people, and have had to walk through reconciliation and repentance. Sometimes I just want to give up, and throw in the towel. It is in those times that we MUST run to Jesus and find comfort in Him. We can no longer try to fix things ourselves, because that self-sufficiency will only drive you further from clinging to the cross of Christ, where we can find mercy and rest. We must come to the point where we can only say, “Jesus, I need You! I can’t do this without You!”

As I read through the lines of the hymn I posted earlier, all I can think of is Christ dying for me, and what that means (Isaiah 53). I picture myself sitting at the foot of the cross, clinging to it so tightly that my knuckles go white, for fear that I will lose sight of my Jesus if I but loosen one finger.

Oh Jesus, let me hide myself in You, and take refuge in the price that you paid for me on the cross. Help me, Lord keep my eyes ever upon You. But Lord, if I should become tired, weary, or afraid; if the waves should crash over me and I begin to sink like Peter, save me in Your mercy, for it is in You that I place my hope and my trust.

“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.’” Psalm 91:1-2

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“Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers them out of them all.” Psalm 34:19

When I was 20 weeks pregnant with my first baby we were so excited to find out whether we were having a boy or a girl. Going into my first ultra-sound ecstatic to actually get to “see” our baby. Little did we know that coming out our little world would be changed forever.

The thing is I would have never believed you if you were to tell us that something would be “wrong” with our baby. That is what the doctors told us, but we trusted God. You see our first baby, Madison was born with a spinal defect, Spina Bifida, she also had hydrocephalus (fluid on the brain). Our “trials” were just beginning, as a newborn Madison had to go through a few surgeries, and with each one our trust in the Lord grew stronger and stronger.

As a young Mom, I had to come to the realization that she wasn’t just “my” baby, but she belonged to the Lord, she was also His child. I remember sitting in the bathroom at church crying and said to the Lord, “I can’t do this on my own, Lord, I give her to you, she is Your child.” It is so hard to give things over to the Lord, this is what He wants from us, are we willing to say, “All I have is Yours Lord, ALL I have is Yours.” This is especially hard for us as moms to step back and give our children over to Him.

Fast forward a few years, and now our beautiful Madison just turned 16, and what a blessing she is to our family!

The “trials” are not over with, but my faith in the Lord is stronger than ever! What a testimony of His love, and Mercy, that is what gets us through these difficult times. I am so thankful that I gave Madison over to Him that day, when I felt so overwhelmed, so empty, and I realized that He is her Heavenly Father, how much more does He want her to be whole and healed.

Our testimony is still a work in progress, but I am so thankful that He is the Author of it all, He sustains us daily, only by His Mercy and His Grace! These few verses in Psalms help me tremendously, they sustain me when I am feeling overwhelmed, His Word gives me strength! Thank You Lord for Your Word!

“When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. “ Psalm 34:17-18

Blessings, Susan

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Ingredients: two bags of organic spinach, whole wheat organic lasagna noodles, organic ricotta cheese, mozzarella cheese, 2 jars of tomato basil, fresh basil cut up, fresh oregano

This is Krystin, one of my daughter’s and she is wearing the apron I made

First layer the glass pan with sauce so the noodles won’t stick. Do not boil the noodles but layer them on the bottom. Then the layering begins. Noodles, lots of spinach, drops of ricotta cheese, then mozzarella cheese, basil which I love, then sauce. Then put a second layer of all the same ingredients.

Then bake at 375 for 40 minutes covered, then 15 min uncovered.

We are a bread family so here is what she made for the amazing bread. She sliced the bread…

I think I need to clean my oven…

Everyone loved it!

Image via Wikipedia

~Brittney Elizondo

I’m beginning to realize that life doesn’t work out quite like you thought it would, or rather, like you planned it to be. It’s mind blowing how much can change in one month, let alone one year. That whole saying “friends come and go” has become real to me. And I’m not referring to it like it’s a bad thing because it isn’t, I’ve just come to the realization that with maturity comes understanding and sometimes, you begin to understand the hard truth that the people you saw yourself growing “old” with were actually meant to be in your life for only a season. For myself, up has sprung a new season in my life: Adulthood. This month I’ll be turning 20 years old, and I can’t begin to express the thankfulness I have in my heart to be given this opportunity at such a young age to see that letting go of people doesn’t always have to be a bad thing, nor does it have to leave you feeling angry or bitter. Much good can come of it. Good has come from this season, and I can honestly say I welcome change; both change in my life and character. This is no longer an issue of them, but me. And there it is, my personal little theme for the year: Not Them, But Me. Sounds cheesy you say? Yeah maybe, but it’s the simple truth we each need to remind ourselves of. Fact of the matter is we are going to constantly be hit with issues that make us question our faith, our friends, and even our family. We will encounter some incredibly tough days emotionally, and spiritually, but in the midst of the chaos, I find that the most growth comes from when the focus is taken off of “them”, whomever or whatever it may be – the situation, the people, the job, and put right back on the person staring back at you in the mirror. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but you will come out much more refined than when you first went in. All I know is that I don’t want to come to the end of my life, actually scratch that, end of the year still talking about what happened way back then. I want to come to the end and remember what a hard time it was in my life, but take joy in the growth of my character that came from it. After all, it has been said friends come and go but it is character that remains. So what kind of character am I going to be left with? ~Brittney Elizondo

Image via Wikipedia

by Rebecca Williams   3/5/2012

In the corner of my backyard is a beautiful old fig tree. When I look at that fig tree it reminds me of how Jesus used the analogy of the fig tree to represent the spiritual state of Israel.  When Jesus happened upon the fig tree in His travels it had leaves on it, which meant it should be full of fruit, unfortunately this tree had no fruit, but only the appearance of fruit, Jesus cursed the fig tree.

It is now winter time in my garden and my fig tree is barren, no leaves, and no fruit.  It calls me to take account of my life. It draws me to take a look at the places that are not bearing fruit. This is an appointment from God. I can see the hardness of the soil in my garden where new life from the ground struggles to break through.  I see there is only one way for a breakthrough that is to turn the soil.  Turning the soil in a garden takes effort and patience and flat out determination, but the vision of fruit drives me forward.

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. (Eccl. 3)  A time to plant, a time to pluck up what is planted.  If we desire new life in our hearts towards God, our marriages, raising our children or ministries we must amend the soil of our hearts.  Jesus said” I cannot put new wine in old wine skins” A time of reflection and tender repentance is the best soil the heart can produce. 

It is temporarily winter in my garden, but God promised “That he who tends to the fig tree will eat of its fruit” (Proverbs) We must tend our hearts, think the thoughts of Christ, plant spiritual seed and expect a harvest.  “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season, we shall reap if we do not lose heart” (Gal. 6:9)

 Habakkuk 3:17 – Though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, yet I will rejoice in the Lord.  I will joy in the God of my salvation…..

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We have some regulars and we have new people coming now too. At the same time this past week I have been challenging myself to evangelize. I wish it was easier for me to do this but sometimes the fear of man just overtakes me….just being honest. I love the Lord and have a story to tell but fear grips my heart. So I have decided to put myself right out there and since my friend Xochi and I attended this awesome conference on evangelizing this past Saturday, my motivation has been kicked into gear.  Xochi and I have been thinking about it daily and challenging one another.

What does this have to do with women? Everything! We are to share the Gospel not only in words but in deed. By 7:30 am I had given out at least 22 cards and talked to several people in line. Someone is praying for me. (Mike and Cody) I am so excited to share the good news of Jesus Christ.

Back to serving those in need, this little sweet couple, Mr. and Mrs. Nguyen comes at 3am to stand in line at You Are Special. When I see her, she kisses my face and we talk about our grandchildren. Today they asked if they could help and we needed help. This was an answer to prayer. I said yes, we could actually use you. We put them to work and they did an awesome job! Like usual, someone came in while we are all cleaning up with our refrigerators and freezers empty and asked for food. We all scrambled around to find some. I was telling them listen all we have a loaf of bread, the person was thankful for what we could give however, at the same time Mr. and Mrs. Nguyen took food out of their food bag and gave me some more for this other man who was in need without one complaint.

In John 15:13 Jesus says, “Greater love has no one than this, than to laydown one’s life for his friends.” I love to see this in action. It makes my heart sing!

~Love, Michelle